everyday is exactly the same.

Do you feel sometimes that you just don’t know how to start? I’m that kind of person who thinks that if you want to do something you need to do it. Kind of “just do it” moment: I go, call, ask, and write down every idea that’s stuck in my head. But some decisions are “too much”, I don’t know how to start and it pretty hurts ‘cause otherwise I need to think about it like every morning of my life: “Just start doing something, you need to change this whole situation, you need to live your life”… And I do nothing. Once again. Not only because I like to make some poor excuses for myself, but because I’m afraid. Like really afraid and make it even worse.


Hello there! I’m alive! Despite the fact that it doesn’t look that way…And I don’t look that way either, but who cares. Another boring illness, weeks at home with Gotham marathon and a lot of sleep. So, what’s going on? How’s the whole moment of life around? Well, I’m not sure. All I can say – dear Deadpool, thank you! For your perfection in this terrible February of my life, I’ve seen you twice and no regrets. And I’m so ready for spring. Well, not with these black circles under my eyes, but hope to get better soon.

lei it go.

It’s like…A middle of the night? And I still have work to do, including the fact that I left my office pretty late today. It’s a crazy week. Well, it’s a pretty crazy month (wow, we have another one already?) at all. After a pretty good New Year Eve and procedure of making a lot of lists and plans I’ve got ill (yeah, thanks, Mum). And it was pretty hard, I don’t remember the last time it was that bad. And I needed to work. At home at least, for almost 2 weeks, yeah! And after that I have news that they wanna give me a trainee! Great! Amazing! My first experience of having a personal slave! Well, of course it wasn’t that way and, to be honest, the whole process of remaking our department is pretty hard and dramatically (or traumatically), but we’re still alive. I guess, but I’m not pretty sure about it. And circles under my eyes too.

What can I say? I’m trying, srsly, I’m trying…Boring stuff, right? I agree. Let’s talk about smth more interesting. For example, I’m like into this series of The Lunar Chronicles right now. Pretty good, huh? I was like okay, I’m not that much into this book, let’s read and go to sleep, who cares…Well, it’s obvious that I care, because I couldn’t sleep until I finish it. And then the second one. And I’ll read more, okay, you got me.
It’s soooo good to have Bellamy Blake in my life again, I can’t even tell you how much I’ve missed him and the whole The 100 show. Well, more of Bellamy, of course, but the start of the season looks good, I’m into it again (as always). And I love watching my beautiful Peggy Carter again. It feels like these two shows are the only one that I watch right now. I don’t know why. But I feel that I don’t even want to watch as much as I used to. Even when I look through a pretty long list of the new eps. Who knows, maybe I’m not an addict anymore.

Do you remember all the reindeers?

It’s snowing! Yeah! It’s a pretty crazy day already, but I’m done with work, I’m done with wrapping my presents, almost ready to go to my friend’s house, where the whole cooking routine is waiting for us (but she felt asleep lol so I have a little time to make a post).
To be honest, I feel myself pretty content right now and ready for the new beginnings. I think we all kind of need it: something new, fresh, promising and exciting (and these 3 days off yeah :D).
I hope this year will be good, this one is “mine”, so, let’s hope for the best. Feel the magic in the air!

can you feel it?

Hello everyone! Are you ready to rock?! No? Yeah, me neither.
It feels like we need snow. Like really need because otherwise it's gonna be the most no-snow-for-you New Year and Christmas ever. To be honest, pretty strange feeling, I miss all this snow in your hair and even in your mouth, and this freaking wind when your cheeks are red and your eyes are terrible with all this mascara over your face. Nope. Pretty calm and polite winter right now, that's all.
It's gonna be my 3d year with work and I have to say that I feel myself like a heroine of some rom-com, because I'm a pretty young and pretty closed person, but I feel this desire to spend this time with my family and friends, because actually it's not an excuse when you're always out at work and can't be right here right now. Actually even the biggest salary in the world doesn't cost this. So I'm kind of feeling that I'm doing something wrong. But despite all this stuff in my head I'm of course not ready for the holidays like at all. Or almost. We'll have a party at work on Saturday and at least I have a pretty dress, but I'm still unsure about everything else and, to be honest, don't want to go at all. But have to. Almost all of my presents are bought but I need to wrap them and definitely need to find time for it. And to decorate my room. And make a menu for the New Year's dinner. And a lot of other stuff...It makes me pretty excited to be honest, But most of the time all I want is to sleep.
my lord

we were in a wrong place but it was perfect timing.

I don’t know about you but I’m feeling 22 I think I have a little bit of a Christmas spirit already. And it’s strange because I didn’t even start to think about presents, there’s no snow outside and we didn’t have a good one yet (it’s always snowy on my mum’s birthday - the 12th of November, - but not this year). And the best part – I’m working on the 31th officially (how rude!) and then on Christmas (and that’s pretty predictable because it happens every year), so… I blame it on a lot of Christmas videos and vlogs.

Meanwhile trying to relax as much as possible, making plans and “to do” lists, but it’s hard because I have this new coloring book Lost Ocean by Johanna Basford and it’s so beautiful! A real treasure, to be honest, I’m ready to cancel everything and just sit here with color pencils all day long. And new ep of AoS is still waiting for me, tumblr looks like there will be something about my fave Ward and I won’t like it, so… I’m not in a hurry.

Oh, maybe I’m in a great mood because this week I’ve got a package with my books! It’s The Hunger games trilogy that looks so good, I was a fan for I don’t even know how long, I bet it was just the 1st one when I’ve got into it, but I didn’t like the design of the books, but these… Looks fantastic for me.
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Talking about books: I have a lot of them on the “currently reading shelf“ and it’s strange, because I’m that kind of person who reads the book till the end, but not this time. So now I’m into the Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan. It looks like I’ve almost forgot how I love John’s style, I know now he’s like a little bit too popular and it can be annoying for people, but it doesn't matter because I still feel so comfortable reading his books, it’s like you find something inside that was hidden from the world and even yourself for a long time because one day you or society have decided that you must grow up.
Of course, sometimes it makes me sad that I didn't have him like an author and a friend when I was younger (you know it’s like in The Catcher in the Rye - one of my faves too – “What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it”), because he’s definitely for a little bit younger audience, but I still feel what he’s saying and it’s pretty delightful.

what was that song about?

And it’s not my best week. Again. Last one was full of work, and then I’ve got ill. Lucky me!

But let’s talk about Jessica Jones! What a pleasure! I loved it so much and ready to discuss. And wanna do a Doctor Who rewatch once again ‘cause thanks God for Tennant, I’ve missed him so much! And I want a personal show for Trish! And…Ok, I really loved this one.

But I can’t say the same about the final Hunger Games. I didn’t  talk about this here, but I love this trilogy. This is my favorite trilogy of all that was written after Harry Potter. That is because it is full of meaning. Full of pain, but also of hope, betrayal and loyalty. Despite its genre, it is full of real feelings and not only makes people ask questions, but also provides the necessary direction for the future answers. But the movie, as for me, after four parts of pure perfection wasn’t that good. Like everyone was already tired of this story.
that kiss

when you have to be a lawyer even if you don't.

Isn’t it weird that when you talk to yourself in your head it’s not your voice at all?
For example, in my head it’s mostly Kristen Bell’s voice, to be honest. I bet it’s because Veronica Mars is one of those characters who isn’t afraid to share her thoughts with the whole audience. And because her voice makes you feel like a real cutie pie, but ready to kill.

Well, hello world! I’m ready to share with you some news about my last week of a living hell. Well, the one before the last was even worse, so it’s like a party near the Hellmouth, here we go.

I thought that November will be good. I mean come on, I love autumn a lot, like really a lot, but it was pretty ruined and so, it’s kind of obvious that I’ll have a hope for the last month. Bad. So bad. Almost a whole sleepless week, bad mood, a lot of problems and nerves, documents and pretty shitty people. I haven’t done these much claims through my whole life! And it looks like it isn’t over yet. But now it’s more like a strong feeling that you have to do something not for yourself, but for others. Looks like a speech from the Captain America’s mouth, but the whole injustice and lawlessness is killing me right now. I hope people won’t get into this kind of situation that me and my friend did, at least we’ll try to alert them one way or another, because if you have to work with the travel company, this company has to be up to its reputation and reviews. But instead of it we are faced with fraud.

The worst thing in this situation is that I feel like my health is going out of control: blood pressure, terrible headaches and even a migraine. Instead of taking care of myself from Monday I’ll have additional duties at my work. And it looks like I won’t be able to leave this place at all – not good. Not even near.

But at least we’ll have the Mockingjay movie and (what a trailer!) amazing Jessica Jones pretty soon, so, let’s keep going!